


It Was Enough

by VisionaryGalaxy



Series: A Thousand Futures of Me and You [18]
Category: Dr. Strange (Marvel) - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, In love Tony Stark, M/M, Sad Ending, Sad Stephen Strange, Sweet Angst, This is my favourite so far, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 07:36:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15967712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisionaryGalaxy/pseuds/VisionaryGalaxy
Summary: Foresight had been a gift, or so he believed from the start. Had thought this little fire he and Tony had been steadily building together, equal parts watchful and hopeful, would have been snuffed out long before.*Mind the tags, please.





	It Was Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授翻/奇异铁】It Was Enough](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17298875) by [Clover_cherik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clover_cherik/pseuds/Clover_cherik)



> Slightly different style here. I think its my favourite so far :)

   It was precious as it was fragile. Quiet in the way it embraced silence like breathing, thunderous in the way it made a heart thump in the chest. Sometimes it seemed to soar as high as the mountains, where solitude became comfort, and others it hurtled down past sheer cliffs as though its fall was inevitable. Stephen figures it was, this fall, always lurking around corners and watching, whispering that it wasn’t such a long way down. Perhaps it was because he knew he would need to eventually stand on the edge, say goodbye to the mountain tops, the beautiful sound of his heart beating for another, never hear their full silence again, that made him so threadbare now.

   Foresight had been a gift, or so he believed from the start. Had thought this little fire he and Tony had been steadily building together, equal parts watchful and hopeful, would have been snuffed out long before now. A week he believed at first, when Tony had gripped his hand with a shaky smile and promise of dinner and good company. Yes, _a week_ would be long enough for their infatuation to simmer and fall.

   But it didn’t. As a month came upon them, Stephen had thought a _month then_ , very well, better then could have been imagined. Their dinners were often, company still new and fresh, it seemed to morph as Stephen watched, casual affection showered upon him. He was lucky to glimpse into this man’s heart, but the fall was imminent he knew. He wasn’t sad or hurt, no grateful would suffice. An experience he would remember for a long time.

   When month four began to creep up on them Stephen felt confusion for the first time. He watched the way Tony made himself at home in the Sanctuary, in his bed, in his life. Stephen thinks, _this isn’t right_. He knows it isn’t, because this budding thing between them isn’t what he foresaw. Something warm and foreign began to grow in his chest at every soft look, every gentle brush of hands, every whispered be careful. Still, whenever his mind wanders ahead, not with the green glow he was used to, never so selfish, he feels the drop in his stomach, the anticipation of what is to come. He knows, like he does so many things, _its coming, this does not last_.

   On month six, Stephen begins to feel symptoms, signs that somewhere along the way things became muddled. That warm feeling comes often now, his heart picking up speed at Tony’s smile, his chest beginning to ache whenever dreams of the fall come. He thinks, _oh no, why is this happening?_ He no longer feels grateful, he begins to feel scared, and he is so confused. It was meant to be a week, a month, they were never meant to make it this far. The universe taunts, and the Sorcerer listens, wants to push back. Then something new, something to seal his fate. Tony looks at him one night, eyes opened wide in the dark, expression serene and expectant,

_“I love you.”_ He says.

   Doesn’t he know? How could he not feel it, the energy buzzing between them, the not so subtle promise that this wasn’t meant for them. Perhaps it doesn’t matter, because Stephen knows and still a shiver goes down his spine at those words, still he says,

   “ _I love you too_.” He swears he can hear the echoes of the cosmos, shivering in delight, laughing at their joke, for a Sorcerer is always listening. He kisses Tony, glad that the night hides the tears threatening to build in his eyes. It is close now he knows, purpose flying close on speedy wings.

   Month seven, the Sorcerer thinks, _I am so tired_. He is and has been, begins to wonder about the fall. He is graced with sleepless nights, haunting images filling his mind, begins to think, _where are you? Why haven’t you come?_ Nights become later and later, still there is beauty there, spends every night starring down at Tony, yearning for the peace he finds resting on his face. Sometimes, he wonders if it is worth it, if he should not bring about the fall himself, quick as a rip, a bleeding heart broken and sore but no more waiting. He always hated waiting.

   Month eight has barely begun and Stephen allows a small smile, thinks, _I found you_. Tony is standing across from him, red in the face, angry and trembling, eyes wonderful in the array of emotions swirling within. This is not _the_ fall, but it is _a_ fall. For a wild moment, Stephen is relieved, would take angry over sad. His silence, their silence, is no longer comfortable and Tony is unhappy. It hurts, causes a new ache in his chest, he thinks, _they are watching_. The cosmos doesn’t want their game to end this way, soiling their fun now might be a victory, but Stephen knows it was always him who was destined to suffer. Stephen had insulted Tony’s pride during their mission today, had snapped back when he did, had closed his eyes at the reprieve anger gave his heart. He said awful things and so did Tony, still he wonders if it is in his eyes, if he knows, _I don’t mean it, this is for the best_. When Tony grabs his hand, eyes sorrowful and scared, when he says,

   “ _I thought you were going to get hurt. I’m sorry, I thought I lost you_.”

   Stephen wants to sob, heart breaking into agonizing splinters, pricking deep inside him. He thought his fate had been sealed when Tony told him he loved him, but no it was this. There is a rushing in his ears, thousands of voices talking over each other in delight, because his soul was no longer his own. He looks at Tony and wonders in no little desperation, _why couldn’t you just give me up_? It felt odd, the pull that now bonded him to this man, it felt important, and lovely, and pure. Oh, how he hates it, because he could never let go of this man. He hadn’t foreseen this, it was true, things had been twisted horribly and he thinks, _I deserve this, but he doesn’t_. Something in his expression must speak to this change, to the pain resounding through him as the Universe laugh, and teases, and points, for Tony pulls him into a hug so very tight. Its as though he fears Stephen hadn’t forgiven him, that he may disappear, Stephen thinks, _you are finally getting it_.

   Month ten, Stephen is happy, it’s the least he deserves. He waits, always waiting for the inevitable, every sign on his radar of cosmic disturbance, every sudden appearance from Wong leaving his heart stopping, his soul shuddering. Nothing yet though, Stephen begins to think, _just a little longer please._ It becomes his daily prayer, the entirety of his meditations, _just one more day, one more night._ Tony seems to sense it, their lives becoming a long vacation, never straying far from one another. Stephen sees the way Tony looks at him sometimes, sad, worried, protective. He almost asks, in the quiet moments of their shared silence, _do you know about the fall?_ But he doesn’t because this is his, and if the cosmos wishes are for him to suffer then he wants to be happy, content first. Wong knows, had begun to have nightmares of his own, he sees it, and he pities him. Its obvious but its ok because Stephen pities himself too, simply curls a little more around Tony, tells him he loves him a little more fervently, makes love a little more gently, studies his face a little more closely.

_“Its coming.”_ Wong says one morning.

_“It was always coming.”_

   Month eleven and Stephen wakes up screaming, heart beating a mile minute. His hands are creating runes that do nothing and all he can think is, _no no no._ Tony is there and whispering to him that it is alright, _how does he know that?_ Stephen wonders if he should tell Tony now, should tell him to run as fast as he can from a Sorcerer who had become a puppet to the universe’s enjoyment. The nausea blooms in his stomach quickly and he nearly gags as visions dart behind his eyes, as he is allowed one more glimpse into the future. Tony is holding him, and it is a lifeline, always will be since the man took a piece of his soul. He wonders why let him see this, what enjoyment they gather from this scene. Tony is asking questions in his ear, but Stephen can’t do that now, must think, can’t let what he saw come to pass. Soon enough the trembling stops, and he feels the relief flow through Tony, wants to apologize but knows better. Thinks, thinks, thinks, _oh, oh they shouldn’t have done that._ Stephen for the first time since the beginning doesn’t feel helpless, remembers that he still had free will even if the fall is inevitable, thinks, _you shouldn’t have warned me, you can’t have him._

   Month twelve, Stephen sits and watches. He is in a chair next to Tony’s side of the bed, was awoken in the middle of the night. He stares at Tony’s face drinking it in one last time, thinks to himself, _its here_. He had woken shaking, a grief so powerful it left him sobbing, barely able to contain the noises. Wong waits for him, having sent a message, its confirmed, _no more days_. It hurts more then he realized, to feel this shaking inside him, this little voice whispering his weakness to his soul.

   This was the fall he foresaw, he thinks, _I wasn’t wrong_. This moment he had seen briefly, all the in-between had been hidden from his sight. This he knew was a trick of the universe, had been from the start. The world was cruel, enjoyed toying with its playthings, he didn’t blame it. It must get so lonely and bored existing out there.

   Still, the ache in his heart as he stares at Tony makes want to ignore the fall, to crawl into the bed’s warmth. But if he does not go to it, it will come to him and Tony shouldn’t be apart of that. He glances around the room, it had been subtle, the process of living together, tries to remember when it happened. _Month three_ he thinks. Stephen wonders if he should remove all evidence of him being here, like a bad dream. But he imagines it happening to him, feels his stomach twist with grief. He decides to leave it, after all its not as though he’ll ever be back for it.

   He has to go, and he hates it, thinks, _it hurts, why did I let it hurt?_ Tony’s face is serene, his is broken, tears streaming down his face in silence. He wants to say goodbye, to tell Tony again and again that he loves him, hear the words whispered in return. He can’t risk waking him though, he saw how that ends as well, having been graced one last time with the future. It was the only thing worse then facing this fall alone. Silently, Stephen stands hating the horrid weakness in his legs as he stumbles to the bedside, works hard to keep silent as he leans down and presses a gentle kiss to the man’s forehead, thinks, _I am so sorry, it was a privilege to love you, to be loved by you. I wish we had more time, I wish we had more futures._

   Stephen stands abruptly, if he doesn’t leave now it will be too late. A portal is made, the glow illuminating Tony’s face for a moment, Stephen tries to memorize it as he walks through. He is in the Sanctuary, Wong waiting to bring him to Kamar-Taj where the Sorcerers will make their last stand, will sacrifice everything to protect reality and life one last time. Wong is watching him with sorrowful eyes, he can’t bear to look at him.

_“In the vision I had, I saw him by your side.”_ Wong is only curious, he knows but it still makes his heart clench painfully.

_“I saw him too, I decided it was easier to die alone”_ He can almost sense the disappointment of the cosmos, they had doubted his ability to leave behind the other half of his soul, had wanted a fairy tale ending. There is a sense in the air that the universe found him ungrateful, that it was a gift to give him every last second with Tony, that he should have embraced it.

   As he and Wong stepped through the portal to Kamar-Taj, Stephen thinks, _a year was enough, more then he could have hoped._

**Author's Note:**

> This one was really fun to write, had now idea where I was going with it until half way through lol :)


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